Remembering Bella

Tonight we remember little Bella who passed away last night. Although we never met her and live oceans apart she was a part of our RTS family - a little sister of Matthew's - and will be missed. She was turning 2 next month. We think especially of her mother Monica who loved her girl wholeheartedly. We believe that Bella is now in a place where she no longer has illness or disability.

For more about Bella's story check out Gena's blog.

Haven't got all your presents yet?

Here is an idea if you are needing that last present but you can't bear to face the heavy traffic and maddening crowds - how about giving a donation to a Very Worthy Cause on behalf of the person to whom you want to give a present. Often we end up buying family and friends presents that they don't need (and may not even want??). By giving to a Very Worthy Cause you not only bless the ones who are in desparate needs of funds , but you also warm the heart of the your family member who knows that their "gift" is making a tangible difference this Christmas.

And, although I know of many worthy causes, one has been on my heart for the last while. Remember I wrote about another mom's blog that I had been following. Sadly her precious son Nathan passed away this year. She and another mom who also has lost a child have started a website, called A Random Act Of Kindness (ARK) to raise funds to assist parents who are caring for kids with Cerebral Palsy. Here is the link to the their website: http://www.arandomactofkindness.co.za/.

Even if you have all your presents sorted and are not looking for a last minute gift, it is worth checking out and remembering the next time you feel prompted to want to make a difference in this world.

My prayer is that the memory of this young boy Nathan will never fade from those who knew him, but will continue to inspire us to find the good in all who we meet and motivate us to reach out to those who may be struggling to live in a world that has not been designed for them.

May you all have a blessed Christmas

Finding Nemo

Yesterday we went to the memorial service of Nathan.

I was struck by how much love this young boy elicited from those who knew him. He does not fit society’s classic view of a “successful person” yet he managed to bring out more humanity, compassion and generosity in people than many of the world’s most accomplished leaders.

On our way home from the service we drove past some vineyards. As it is near the end of winter here, the vines were mostly bare – not a leaf in sight. I wondered if that was how Nathan’s parents were feeling now – empty, vulnerable, exposed and sore. I felt God reminding me that these vines will not always stand empty, but in a while when the weather warms they will start getting leaves, first one or two and eventually plenty. And then one day they will bear fruit again. I prayed that for Carina and Richard – that they will know their season of emptiness will not last forever, and though they may not be able to imagine it now, their lives will once again experience warmth, joy, fullness and even abundance. Not that they will forget Nathan and move on, but rather that his memory and spirit will be intertwined into their family’s healing, joy and life.

I have shared previously that I had not met Carina or her family, as we had only been connecting over the internet. On some level I felt so close to her and knew so much about her – well the important stuff - like how she felt when her son died. But on another level I knew so little about her – I had no idea what she looked like or what she did for a living. It was wonderful to finally meet her and Richard with their two sons – although I had pictured meeting them in happier circumstances.

This is a real back-to-front friendship: usually you get to know someone by what they look like, who are they friends with, what they do, what are their likes etc. And then only after months or years do you get the privilege of knowing their honest thoughts, opinions and prayers. But our God works in mysterious ways and even uses today’s’ technology to join his children’s hearts in friendship.

Carina had asked that we all wear red or orange to the service in memory of Nathan as these were the two colours that he could see best. You can imagine that it was a colourful memorial service. Nathan’s dad Richard had brought along Nathan’s favourite toy –

a bright orange, fluffy Nemo fish.

After the service when we met up with them, Richard gave our little Matt the Nemo fish. Matt gave it a big hug as though he sensed it was something special. My eyes still well up with tears at the thought that Carina and Richard would entrust Matt with their son’s special toy – what an honour and privilege.

Every time Matt plays with Nemo Nathan’s memory will live on in our home.

Nathan

Tonight my heart is very heavy and sore for a family that I have met over the internet. They live in South Africa in a town near ours. I have been following their journey of raising a child with severe special needs. I have written about him in a previous post. He died yesterday after a fight with pneumonia whilst still recovering from an anti-reflux operation.

His name is Nathan. He was 3 years and 3 days old.

I got to know him this year through his mother’s blog. Although I have not met this brave boy face to face, his life he has taught me some very important things:

All life is sacred and worth fighting for.

Children with challenges can draw out brilliant courage and compassion in their parents and other people.

We should not take any of our luxuries for granted – the simple luxuries of breathing, eating, and sitting up when we want.

We can never control what life throws our way so we should live with grateful hearts for every day that is given to us.

Today I honour Carina – a mother with a deep well of love and a fighting spirit
I pray God comforts her and her family during this season


Today I remember Nathan – a gift from God
I am sad I will never get to see him on this earth, but I rejoice knowing that he has found great freedom in his spiritual body and great joy in the warm arms of His Dad.

Book Review: So Now What?

So Now What? Winning over depression and loving a boy with special needs. By Celeste Smith

This short but moving book is written by a mother of a boy Mitchy who has Cerebral Palsy and a measure of autism. I was touched by how honest Celeste was about the many struggles that she faced – from battling depression; to dealing with the grief of having a child whose life does not fit into the “normal” category; to managing the practical challenges of helping him develop. She shares thoughtful insights on interesting topics, such as: how to prepare her son to accept his disability; disciplining a disabled child; and the impact having a disabled brother/sister has on the siblings. I found I could glean many helpful hints that will enhance my parenting as well as my coping skills. Through out the book there is a thread of hope (even in the hardest times) and that hope is Jesus. Celeste weaves her faith into all aspects of raising her boy. This hope and faith ensures that the reader finishes the book with a real sense of celebration at the life of Mitchy.

I am sad to conclude this book review with the news that Mitchy died this last month of a drowning accident. I am broken by this news as I feel like to have known Mitchy personally after reading his story. My deepest prayers go out to his parents and siblings in this time.

(This book is published by the author in South Africa, 2008)

Blessed be His name

On thursday night my work colleague and friend lost his child, Anele. Anele suffered a very severe asthma attack and died as his parents tried to race him to the hospital. No parent is made to endure this. My heart aches for them. In times like these I am drawn to the words of the following song - where the fullness of life and the sorrows of this world are acknowledged. There is hope that God is still God...in the good AND in the heartbeaking times. I have sung this song many times in my dark moments, today I sing it for my friend and his wife and their children.

Blessed be Your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
When I’m found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I’ll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord,
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun’s shining down on me
When the world’s all as it should be
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there’s pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I’ll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord,
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I’ll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

(Beth Redman and Matt Redman)